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Monday, September 14, 2009

Pork Power!

Parliament is back in session today, meaning our hard-working politicians are once again performing the important parliamentary task of hurling insults at each other during Question Period.

But this session will be unlike any other.


Because I have it on good authority that a new Parliamentary Coalition of 74 MPs is about to be formed, called the “Parliamentary Coalition of 74 MPs.”

This new coalition will be an alliance of MPs representing all ideological stripes, political persuasions, religious beliefs and hair colors.

In fact, the only thing these politicians will have in common is the shared desire to leap into the MP pension trough.

You see there are 74 MPs who have not yet qualified for the “gold-plated” parliamentary pension plan, a pension plan which could only exist in the fantasy world, otherwise known as government.

In the real world, your typical citizen must work 40 or 50 years to qualify for a pension so small it will barely pay for shuffle board lessons.

MPs, on the other hand, qualify for a pension after only six years of “work”. And what’s more, retired MPs can start collecting wheelbarrows full of pension money the day they hit age 55.

It’s a sweet deal.

Unfortunately, however, 74 MPs currently in the House of Commons have not yet served the full six years, meaning if an election is held this fall, and they lose, that’s it, no pension!

They will have to make due with a paltry severance package worth about $35,000.

Faced with this stark reality the “Parliamentary Coalition of 74 MPs” will band together to thwart any attempt to dissolve the House.

“Hey, hey, ho, ho, we won’t go til we get our dough” will likely be the Coalition’s slogan.

Who knows we may never have an election again.

For more on the MP pension payouts check out this Canadian Taxpayers Federation report.

Posted by Gerry Nicholls on September 14, 2009 | Permalink


I might be wrong here, but I believe that dissolving Parliament does not stop the clock on the time that an MP is in office. They continue to be MPs until they are replaced in the next election. That's how the country is able to still operate during elections (the PM and Cabinet still have their jobs). So if that is the case it only means that the next election has to be on October 25th or later to get the 74 to the 6 year line. Six weeks from today is October 26th, and election campaigns are typically that long. So the pensions for the 74 should be safe already.

Posted by: Fact Check | 2009-09-14 5:15:19 PM

Ok, ignore my previous comment. The October date business is wrong. Ah, well....

Posted by: Fact Check | 2009-09-14 5:34:26 PM

An Imaginary Letter From a Very Worried Politician
By Stephen J. Gray
Dear honorable members of all parties,

Thank goodness no election was called earlier. But, I keep hearing there will be an election in the fall and that some of you intend to bring down the government. Have you all gone quite mad? What is the matter with you all? We are paid around $150,000 a year plus perks and expenses to do it to the people, oops, I mean do the people’s business, and some of you want to give all this up for a fall election?! For what? Just so some party can have a seat or two more or a seat or two less; and who knows, some of you might not even have a seat after the election. ...
Read the rest at:

Posted by: Stephen J. Gray | 2009-09-14 8:34:57 PM

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