The Shotgun Blog
Monday, February 28, 2005
A Thousand Dead Gap Employees
Goldstein responds to Chris Rock's Oscar monologue; "He started a war,³ that's cool, support the troops, he started a war. Now just imagine you worked at the Gap. You're $70 trillion behind on your register, and then you start a war with the Banana Republic… 'cause you say they got toxic tank-tops over there.
³Well, in the sense that he ordered the invasion, Bush certainly started the fighting, though to say he started the war is a stretch. To wit: what Rock neglects to mention is that GAP employees had been fired upon daily in the employee parking lot by Banana Republic staffers for twelve years following the GAP's repulsion of Banana Republic from Abercrombie and Fitch (which it tried to take over by force in 1991. After the GAP and its allies from Cinnabun, Panda Express, Bad Bath and Beyond, etc repelled the invading Banana Republic volley, Banana Republic signed a cease fire agreement, which it then proceeded to violate; additionally, Banana Republic's longtime CEO planned an assassination attempt on a former GAP president-who just happens to be the father of that same George Bush who supposedly "started" the war).
The rest of the The Annotated Chris Rock. While you're at it, be sure to catch today's (Lebanon) installment of "Chimpy McHitlerBurton's smirky rodeo ride through history" with a bonus link to Den Beste in Bill Quick's comments *section.
The lefties hate Bush because Bush is unapologetically nationalist, unapologetically American. Clinton and Kerry were at least willing to apologize for their nation; Bush won't. Bush thinks America is a force for good -- and to lefties who are invested in the idea of world governance, that is the worst threat imaginable. Because they cannot establish a world government unless they somehow convince the majority of Americans that the United States as a nation and the US Constitution as a political experiment are utter failures which must be abandoned and replaced by something better -- i.e. by world governance and the emerging socialist utopia predicted by the sainted Marx.
Vintage Den Beste. How I wish he were still blogging.
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Deconstructing jokes -- just not funny.
I thought Rock did a pretty good job. I particularly liked his faux intro lines. My favourite was his for Tim Robbins: "When he’s not dazzling us with his acting, he’s boring us to death with his politics...”
Posted by: JKelly | 2005-02-28 11:01:11 PM
He said he wasn't going to bash Bush, then he went on a rant about Bush starting a war and driving the country into defecit. The audience ate it up.
Posted by: Joel | 2005-03-01 4:01:56 AM
I always thought lefties were the ones who couldn't take a joke.
Is it officially off-limits to poke fun at GWB and the Republican's profligate spending habits?
Posted by: Jay Jardine | 2005-03-01 10:40:33 AM
That's an odd way to look at it Jay - why would deconstructing the "intellechewal Hollywood elite" translate into making criticism of Republicans "off limits"? Rock made his politically motiaveted remarks to an audience of a billion, give or take. He deserves a pass because he's a comedian?
For background, Goldstein was (in his own words) an "unthinking" life long leftist until Sept.10, 2001.
And a hell of a lot funnier than Chris Rock has ever been.
Posted by: Kate | 2005-03-01 11:03:45 AM
One thing Chris Rock neglected--a conflict between the Gap and the Banana Republic would essentially be a civil war, as they are the same company. Hmm. More conspiracy. Very likely Enron is to blame.
Posted by: E. M. Zanotti | 2005-03-04 11:51:10 AM
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