The Shotgun Blog
Friday, March 14, 2008
How can you call this man anti-American?
(Non-photoshopped cover of the current issue of Rolling Stone magazine. Article here.)
You wouldn't call Luke Skywalker anti-American, would you?
Previous Shotgun post on Obama here.
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If the rest of the stories on this cover are any indication, the Obama article probably won't get much respect.
Clapton and Winwood reunite? I'm giddy. The Black Crowes are back? Where'd they go?
Rolling Stone isn't very Gonzo any more.
Posted by: dp | 2008-03-14 11:13:08 AM
Rolling Stone: the authoritative voice of drug-addled Americans since 1967
I wonder what the late Rolling Stone scribe Hunter S. Thompson would have thought of Obama – and Ron Paul, for that matter.
And what has Rolling Stone writer PJ O'Rourke had to say about America's "new hope"?
Posted by: Matthew Johnston | 2008-03-14 11:20:19 AM
"You wouldn't call Luke Skywalker anti-American, would you?"
Luke Skywalker propped up the Alderanian monarchy, helped reinstitute a Jedi theocracy, and sat in a command post without disclosing a conflict of interest connection to fleet marshal Vader. Not to mention the videos on the internet of him kissing his sister. Experienced statesmen like Yoda said he "wasn't ready". I'd have turfed his arse out of office.
Posted by: Pattern Recognition | 2008-03-14 11:31:15 AM
"Luke Skywalker propped up..."
I haven't laughed like that in a long time. Brilliant, PR.
Posted by: Matthew Johnston | 2008-03-14 11:35:29 AM
HA! But come on -- Luke did what he had to do. He was helping the plucky Americans/rebels win their revolutionary war/rebellion against the evil empire/British empire.
And why do all the Imperial officers have British accents, anyway?
Posted by: Terrence Watson | 2008-03-14 11:38:29 AM
I know Star Trek fans are called Trekkies. What do you Star Wars guys call yourselves?
I'm afraid you just revealed a part of yourselves that might damage your website's credibility.
Posted by: dp | 2008-03-14 11:49:41 AM
Terence Watson will have you believe that "Luke did what he had to do." during the rebellion.
But we know the truth. Luke Skywalker doesn't want you to know that he let himself be coerced into action by an unnamed elderly man with a British Accent who had a fondness for putting his hand on young Luke's shoulder. A man who hasn't been seen since, but who's clothing was found abandoned. Skywalker, a friend of hairy old nudists?
Luke was also seen giving a "bath" to a middle aged staff member of the Alderanian monarchy with a British Accent who commented it was going to feel "so good!" Skywalker the so-called family man?
And yet, Skywalker refuses to answer these questions. Farmboy hero or Mandalorian Candidate? You decide.
This November vote for real change. And remember that your loyal Clone Troopers all talk spoke Maori accents.
"I'm Han Solo and I approved this message."
Posted by: Pattern Recognition | 2008-03-14 11:54:44 AM
Luke Skywalker was a traitor who destroyed the greatest civilizing force that the galaxy had ever known and sought to reimpose a foul system of blood aristocracy over the people of the former Empire.
Posted by: Adam Yoshida | 2008-03-14 12:10:14 PM
HAHA, ok ok... you win. Luke must be stopped now. We need to elect Darth Cheney to the highest office of the land. Only he can restore order to the galaxy.
This discussion brought to mind this old Weekly Standard column, "The Case for the Empire":
My favorite passage:
"Lucas wants the Empire to stand for evil, so he tells us that the Emperor and Darth Vader have gone over to the Dark Side and dresses them in black.
But look closer. When Palpatine is still a senator, he says, "The Republic is not what it once was. The Senate is full of greedy, squabbling delegates. There is no interest in the common good." At one point he laments that "the bureaucrats are in charge now."
Palpatine believes that the political order must be manipulated to produce peace and stability. When he mutters, "There is no civility, there is only politics," we see that at heart, he's an esoteric Straussian. "
Esoteric Straussians make the best Sith :-)
Posted by: Terrence Watson | 2008-03-14 12:25:18 PM
From Kevin Smith's "Chasing Amy"
Hooper: For years in this industry, whenever an African American character, hero or villain, was introduced - usually by white artists and writers - they got slapped with racist names that singled them out as Negroes. Now, my book, "Whitey-Hating C***," don't have none of that bullshit. The hero's name is Maleekwa, and he's descended from the black tribe that established the first society on the planet, while all you European motherf**** were hiding out in caves and s***, all terrified of the sun. He's a strong role model that a young black reader can look up to. Cause I'm here to tell you, the chickens is coming home to roost, y'all. The black man's no longer gonna play the minstrel in the realm of comics and sci-fi fantasy. We keepin it real, and we gonna get respect by any means necessary.
Holden: Ah, come on, that's a bunch of horse s***! Lando Calrissian was a black guy. You know, and he got to fly the Millennium Falcon, what's the matter with you?
Hooper: Who said that?
Holden: I did! Lando Calrissian is a strong role-model in the realm of science fiction/fantasy.
Hooper: F*** Lando Calrissian! Uncle-Tom n*****!
Hooper: Check this s***. You got cracker farm boy Luke Skywalker, Nazi poster boy, blond hair, blue eyes. And then you got Darth Vader, the blackest brother in the galaxy, Nubian god!
Banky Edwards: What's a "Nubian"?
Hooper: Shut the f*** up! Now... Vader, he's a spiritual brother, y'know, down with the force and all that good s***. Then this cracker, Skywalker, gets his hands on a light saber and the boy decides he's gonna run the f*****' universe; gets a whole clan of whites together. And they go and bust up Vader's hood, the Death Star. Now what the f*** do you call that?
Banky Edwards: Intergalactic civil war?
Hooper: Gentrification! They gon' drive out the black element to make the galaxy 'safe' for white folks. And Jedi's the most insulting installment! Because Vader's beautiful black visage is sullied when he pulls off his mask to reveal a feeble, crusty, old white man! They tryin' to tell us that deep inside we all wants to be white!
Banky Edwards: Well... isn't that true?
[Hooper pulls out his gun, shoots Banky]
Posted by: Zebulon Pike | 2008-03-14 12:35:09 PM
I think Palpatine was a Scientologist myself. Look at how coyly he dances around the whole secret knowledge thing, and his general contempt for mainstream religions, especially ones who knew "mind tricks"..
You look at pre-mutation photos of the Palpatine, from his senate days and you can't help but see a resemblance to L. Ron Hubbard. My guess is Hubbard was a bit of a hero figure, an idol.
And TELL me that rig he had put on Vader's chest doesn't look like an E-Meter.
Scientologists belief self-determinism is the common denominator of all life impulses, a parallel to the Sith assumptions about the Force. Makes me think Palpatine may have actually been a Sith early on, and was stealthily converted to Scientology; possibly in 1977 by Lon Tinney, the production manager on the original Star Wars movie and a known Scientologist.
Posted by: Pattern Recognition | 2008-03-14 1:51:17 PM
Visual comparison of L. Ron Hubbard and Palpatine.
Posted by: Pattern Recognition | 2008-03-14 2:08:42 PM
Adam Yoshida wrote: "Luke Skywalker was a traitor who destroyed the greatest civilizing force that the galaxy had ever known and sought to reimpose a foul system of blood aristocracy over the people of the former Empire."
Which system is fouler--the one with hereditary leaders, or the one in which the leader has reached the top by climbing over the corpses of his political opponents? Oh, and then there was that unfortunate business of vaporizing planets...
Posted by: Shane Matthews | 2008-03-14 2:21:26 PM
And none of the Greedo-shoots-first crap either.
Posted by: Shane Matthews | 2008-03-14 2:22:53 PM
I have a bad feeling about this.
Posted by: Zebulon Pike | 2008-03-14 2:56:20 PM
"Luke Skywalker was a traitor who destroyed the greatest civilizing force that the galaxy had ever known"
Technically Luke didn't do much of anything to bring about the fall of the Empire. His dad turned traitor and hucked the former head of state down a pit. Makes you wonder, had the Empire had an Occupational Health and Safety Act, would things have been different? Vader lifts the emperor, throws him. Palpatine lands anticlimactically three feet away on the plexiglass cover overtop the bottomless pit.
"Ow. The hell was that all about?"
"Jackass. That hurt! And look at you now, your suit's totally f**ked up. That cost real money you know! Sonofa. We're never having another take your kid to work day ever."
Posted by: Pattern Recognition | 2008-03-14 3:06:19 PM
You mean, about something *other* than the fact that this blog has wandered completely off topic? This was supposed to be about whether Obama is too indifferent to America's welfare to be entrusted with safeguarding it. And we're talking about Jedis and Siths and the Force! Oh, my!
Posted by: Shane Matthews | 2008-03-14 3:07:47 PM
That conversation, including
a) The problem of aiming at suborbital missiles while you're being attacked by land mines and low-altitude rockets, and
b) The 1:1 similarity between McCain's and Obama's philosphy towards spending on the FWS programs and the missile defense program. Neither voted on the December 2007 defense policy bill affecting the missile defense program.
is happening over on the other Obama thread.
Posted by: Pattern Recognition | 2008-03-14 3:41:44 PM
Well one thing is for sure...if you all get on the Obama wagon, im sure he will loose badly!! lol. Remember the Old Ron Paul thing. I think more msg's here about RP than he actually got in Votes!
Posted by: SW | 2008-03-14 7:29:13 PM
Oh and I guess while your makeing Star Wars comparisons...im sure Shrillery will be a shoe in for the part of Jabba!
Posted by: SW | 2008-03-14 7:32:59 PM
I just watched Hannity and Combes where they had Obama's crazy pastor in an interview that took place last year. They played past and recent speeches he made in his church if you can call that political pulpit a church.
Here is what I learned. Obama's pastor is a racist in the biggest way. He, like Obama, is pushing what I call Negroism. He talked at length about the African work ethic, African values etc. When I take look at Africa I want to puke. Look at what African values have done to Africa. Obama and his pastor want those values in America?
Obama cannot pretend he doesn't know what his pastor is up to after twenty years of membership in that church. In 2006 Obama gave that pastor over 20 grand. What for?
This racist pig pastor couldn't keep his big mouth shut in order to help get his boy elected so they could begin to dismantle America and thereby enable our Islamic enemies.
There is just too much shit with those people to list here so I will shorten it up.
The black people behind Obama (and many stupid whites) including his wife and Obama himself are absolutely poison to our way of life.
I want McCain in the White house next year if only because he is white and apparently shares my White North American values.
Obama's campaign is working hard to turn white people against black people. That is as self destructive to them as screwing over priced hookers was to the recent governor Spritzer in New York.
There are no black run countries on this planet that are worth a pinch of shit and after listening to Obama's pastor and the vacant oratory coming from his lips I now know why.
There are some very bright black people in the USA doing meaningful work, but judging by this latest pack or Marxist Leninist goons, black people are simply not ready to lead any country anywhere.
Obama and his pastor and his wife have thrown the progress and advances made by black people since Martin Luther king back further than than if they were campaigning to make watermelon America's nation dish.
I am completely disgusted with the Obamites and their hate for America. I am once again convinced that there cannot be multiculturalism and that North America needs to become not only a refuge for, but a fortress for what's left of free white culture in this world.
Posted by: John West | 2008-03-14 8:08:47 PM
It's hitting the fan now. Obama can't get far enough away from that crazy bastard. I can't imagine any way to come out of this unscathed. Just google Obama's church. Some of this stuff is pretty funny.
Posted by: dp | 2008-03-14 9:15:42 PM
>" When I take look at Africa I want to puke. Look at what African values have done to Africa. Obama and his pastor want those values in America?"
John West | 14-Mar-08 8:08:47 PM
Old African saying:
It takes a child to raze a village.
Posted by: Speller | 2008-03-14 10:04:00 PM
I support Ron Paul, he's wonderful. Did everything we could to send money, votes, people, his way over the last year.
However, I am interested in betting with anyone who picks McCain over Obama in the general election. Anyone who wants to put money in a safe-deposit box with a like amount from me with Matthew Johnson as neutral third party, please let me know. I believe that Obama will crush McCain 59% to 41%, taking 43 states, and Congress will also be decidedly in Democratic Party control, for better or worse.
Anyone who thinks cranky Nosferatu with a creepy wife, no economic skills, and lots of skeletons, no conservative base enthusiasm, is going to beat the black Kennedy with the perfect wife & kids and an admirable background without corruption after 8 years of Republican war and mismanagement...
Well, like I said, I've got up to $10,000 I'd wager on Obama.
Posted by: Marc Scott Emery | 2008-03-15 1:29:19 AM
To quote Mr. Spock, "No one can guarantee the actions of another".
Based on that wisdom, I don't make bets on human activities. However, if you are correct, how much would you be willing to bet that Obama will not live to run for a second term?
And Mark, I wish you the best in your fight with the dark, sinister forces who think selling seeds is worse than manslaughter. It's such a weary argument, but they should stick to the destructive drug trade and leave that beneficial drug alone.
If the pharmaceutical companies could figure out a way sell pot without having people grow their own. It would have been on the market long ago.
They would be selling a lot more of their chemical analgesic if weren't for pot, especially now with the aging boomer and their aching joints.
In Canada they should do the same with pot as they do with abortion, no law at all. I think pot smokers deserve at least as much freedom as baby killers. What say you?
But I digress.
Posted by: John West | 2008-03-15 10:47:36 AM
Cut the crap, Marc. Comparing McCain to a VAMPIRE? You're just cheesed because the Republicans happened to be in power when the G-men started circling around you in their black helicopters. It would have been the same under Clinton, because the law was the same under Clinton. Now THERE'S a President with a creepy wife. Who's being cranky now, princeling?
Posted by: Shane Matthews | 2008-03-15 10:57:10 AM
John West wrote: “And Mark, I wish you the best in your fight with the dark, sinister forces who think selling seeds is worse than manslaughter. It's such a weary argument, but they should stick to the destructive drug trade and leave that beneficial drug alone.”
What benefits does pot provide? Apart from being no better a pain reliever than aspirin (which doesn’t stink up the entire condominium complex of a single user), about all it does is increase appetite. It was banned in 1942 from medical use because of its psychoactive and respiratory side effects, which its proponents refuse to discuss.
John West wrote: “If the pharmaceutical companies could figure out a way sell pot without having people grow their own. It would have been on the market long ago. They would be selling a lot more of their chemical analgesic if weren't for pot, especially now with the aging boomer and their aching joints.”
Great. Another conspiracy nut. (Excuse me while I check the window for black helicopters. Whew, safe.) Now then, you and I both know that even if they managed to create a cheap marijuana extract that provided all the benefits with none of the side effects, and they sold it in a cheap, convenient little inhaler, medical-marijuana buffs would still insist on smoking the real thing. BECAUSE MOST OF THEM ARE OLD BOOMERS WHO WANT TO GET HIGH.
John West wrote: “In Canada they should do the same with pot as they do with abortion, no law at all. I think pot smokers deserve at least as much freedom as baby killers.”
Ah yes, Paradise Law, the anarchist’s dream. For those who’ve never watched “Galaxy Express,” Paradise Law, simply put, is the absence of law—you can do whatever you want to anyone else, and they can do whatever they want to you. Unfortunately it tends to completely obliterate a civilization after a couple of generations.
Posted by: Shane Matthews | 2008-03-15 11:08:58 AM
"Creepy wife." Good grief.
Posted by: Shane Matthews | 2008-03-15 11:09:56 AM
BECAUSE MOST OF THEM ARE OLD BOOMERS WHO WANT TO GET HIGH.
Busted. But for the few who really do have trouble with serious chronic pain, let's cut a little slack. Some of the older boomers need a break from reality once in a while.
Stinking up the condo complex is a dirty trick, I agree.
Marc, you should avoid Las Vegas completely. I wouldn't take odds on a $100 bet on Obama. All this talk about Black superiority is about to spark a huge backlash. If he wins the nomination, McCain will win by a huge landslide. Only about 13% of the US population is Black. The Latino population is probably not going to back Obama. If one thing can cure the apathy of white trash American voters, it's having a bunch of rich black people thinking they can run the country.
Oh ya, Marc won't be going to Vegas after all.
Posted by: dp | 2008-03-15 11:32:33 AM
Actually, DP, I think the boomers have been cut quite enough slack already. Any generation whose defining attribute is a state of perpetual adolescence is a generation that has been overindulged.
The cheap, synthetic, non-psychotropic marijuana derivative I have described above is currently under development. It is not a fiction. However, once it's approved, I expect it to be all but ignored. Because with rare exceptions, "medical marijuana" has never been about medicine.
Posted by: Shane Matthews | 2008-03-15 11:48:25 AM
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