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Tuesday, July 03, 2007

Smeaton dishes up a beatin'

I can't get enough of John Smeaton -- a cross between Brad Pitt's character in Snatch, and Kiefer Sutherland's in 24. I'll take his plain talk over his prime minister's deliberate confusion any day.

I saw a man egress the vehicle:

Come to Glasgow, and we'll set about you:

I was havin' a fag, I heard a commotion:

Posted by Ezra Levant on July 3, 2007 | Permalink

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Once a cobra bit John Smeaton’s leg. After five days of excruciating pain, the cobra died.

John Smeaton uses his abs to smooth diamonds

John Smeaton does not dodge bullets. Bullets dodge John Smeaton

Everynight before the bogeyman goes to bed, he checks his closet for John Smeaton.

John Smeaton doesn’t read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants

It was once believed that John actually lost a fight to a terrorist, but that is a lie, created by John himself to lure more terrorists to him

Smeaton went tae the same school as Charles Bronson and stole his dinner money everyday.

John Smeaton isn’t afraid of the dark…the dark is afraid of John Smeaton.

John Smeaton once killed a lion with his bare hands.

John Smeaton can make a woman climax just by looking at her and shouting ALLAH!

Anthropologists are studying John Smeaton to try to find the origins of the lack of “flight” in his “fight or flight” response

Smeaton used to racially abuse Bruce Lee to his face, and forced him to cook him Chicken choi mein every night free of charge.

Alex Salmond has abandoned any future plans for wind farms in Scotland.He is just going to use Johnny’s arms to power the whole of Scotland and sell the surplus energy to the East Coast of America.

There was a Comet headin straight for Earth one year ago, it was too big for Nasa to destroy wi Nuclear bombs.. so they phoned Smeaton to jump up on springs and punch fuck oot it.

John once challenged Chuck Norris to a square go. Mr Norris kindly refused the advance.

John Smeaton can strangle you with a cordless phone.

John Smeaton won a game of connect 4 in 2 moves.

John Smeaton can delete the recycle bin

If you wake up tomorrow, it’ll be because John Smeaton allowed you to

Smeaton once held down eight Tigers and gang raped them.

John Smeaton dosent sleep, he waits.

When John Smeaton does push ups, he’s actually pushing the ground down.

The Argies surrendered Port Stanley when the heard that John Smeaton had been born.

John Smeaton is 1/8th Cherokee. This has nothing to do with ancestry, the man ate a fucking Jeep.

John Smeaton drowned a fish.

Death once had a near-John Smeaton experience.

John Smeaton died 5 years ago, Death never had the balls to tell him

John Smeaton once visited the Virgin Islands. They are now The Islands.

Posted by: Zebulon Pike | 2007-07-03 10:31:10 PM


Chuck Norris sued John Smeaton for copyright infringement, but the courthouse was instantly destroyed because no structure can contain that level of awesome. They decided to call a truce and direct their supreme energies towards fighting terrorism.

Posted by: Zebulon Pike | 2007-07-03 10:35:01 PM


...GASP!

Someone actually did something we all secretly want to do from our cozy PC cocoons...

...and, and, he said the "FAG" word, but it didn't mean Men/boys club.

Gadzooks, my made in China monitor almost blew a circuit.

Posted by: tomax7 | 2007-07-04 12:29:23 AM


John Smeaton doesn't understand why the friendly folks of Scotland were the target of this attack.
His reactions were good but understanding the enemy is necessary to get ahead of the curve and begin action.

Mecca needs a visit from one of the boats at Holy Loch.

Posted by: Speller | 2007-07-04 8:01:26 AM


Whas this guy reading from a scrip supplied by homeland insecurity? Egressed the vehicle??? Assessed the police???

I see we have another truly obvious hyperbolic event to scare the wee sheepies into surrendering the last vestage of individual privacy to the surveillance state that is battling these cartoon kamikazes.

Posted by: WL Mackenzie Redux | 2007-07-04 8:07:09 AM


WL Mackenzie Redux,

As a baggage handler, Mr. Smeaton has a lot of contact with police and security forces. Maybe he even watches a lot of cop shows on TV.
It wouldn't be shocking that he actually chooses such speech patterns himself.

As to the surveillance state, I don't like it myself. It is a byproduct of the socialist agenda. Anti-immigration is a traditional Tory platform plank.
Surveillance of our own populations is being forced on us as a reactive measure because of the content of the population due to immigration.

It would be better if we were more proactive on foreign soil after dealing with the immigration problems.

Posted by: Speller | 2007-07-04 8:32:34 AM


Although President Nicolas Sarkozy has objected, white flags have been selling like hotcakes in France--every house has one raised, due to the likes of John Smeaton.

European Pubs, Bars and Restaurants (except in Scotland) are providing all cocktails purchased during happy-time, with little white flags, just in case they come upon Smeaton.

Posted by: Lady | 2007-07-04 10:39:35 AM


"John Smeaton doesn't understand why the friendly folks of Scotland were the target of this attack."

If he does not understand now, after the brutal murder of Glasgow teenager, Kris Donald, then John Smeaton is a moron.

"The Glasgow teen was snatched from a street in Pollockshields, Glasgow, then taken on 200-mile round trip before his abductors murdered him. A cyclist found the body on the secluded Clyde walkway the morning after Donald had been kidnapped.

Dr Marjorie Black told the High Court that Donald had been stabbed 13 times, probably while restrained, as he only had one defensive wound and set on fire so that burns covered 70 per cent of his body.

The body was covered in mud, leading the pathologist to conclude that he may have rolled around in an attempt to extinguish the flames and was therefore alive when set alight. Both the stab wounds and the burns were so severe that either could have led to his death.

The Shahid brothers and Mushtaq all fled to Pakistan after the murder and although warrants were issued for their arrest it was more than a year before they were returned to Scotland to face trial."

http://news.scotsman.com/index.cfm?id=1654972006

Posted by: DJ | 2007-07-04 2:31:31 PM


Well, isn't that special!

Posted by: obc | 2007-07-04 2:33:18 PM


"John Smeaton doesn't understand why the friendly folks of Scotland were the target of this attack."

DJ, you have to be in and of the Scottish culture, to see where he was coming from with that statement. From his view, there is simply no reason to do harm to Scots and therefore no reason for an attack against they who live in Glasgow, and they who visit Glasgow, because they are good people.

And yet, that is the thing with the terrorists. They want their laws applied in the free world. Well, it would no longer be the free world, if their laws were applied--so no, they will not be applied.

Why?

Because bad people apply shariah. You have seen the tapes? You know, the ones where they have cars ride over the hands of babies? You know, little children?

We can never ever see a reason for people to be cruel to children, but they do all the time. The majority of people are not readers of the paper. perhaps with the mighty vocal Smeaton, who was there to save the day, with his propensity to artciulate, that people in Scotland will begin to focus on what it is that has happenned. See, terrorists might not see a difference between Scotland and England, but they probably thought that the division was enough to set them apart from the London attacks.

As for the one you referenced, it is quite possible that people thought of that incident as not a terrorist attack, but an attack at a person in particular.

Posted by: Lady | 2007-07-04 4:49:13 PM


I've read about the attack on Kris Donald before, I know it was done because of Islam, but a lot of the testimony from the killers themselves make it sound that they abducted and killed him because he was white.

They apparently didn't make any attempt to convert their victim, just like the Zebra Killers in San Francisco in the '70s.
They just went looking to kill people because they were white, but all of the killers were Muslim.

Posted by: Speller | 2007-07-04 5:06:05 PM


The Zebra murders are often presented as a black/white issue, but when you dig lightly under the surface, you find non other than inslamofacism.

The Zebra murders were the work of the Death Angels, a group within the black nationalist group, the Nation of Islam. According to the NOI's beliefs, the white race was created by a black mad scientist named Yakub, who, some say, wanted a race of inferiors to rule over. Furthermore, the Death Angels believed that they could earn "points" towards Paradise when they died if they killed as many whites as possible. The NOI's teachings presented whites not as human beings, but variously as "blue-eyed devils," "white devils," and "grafted snakes."

Candidates would be invited to secret meetings at the NOI-owned Black Self-Help Moving and Storage; to attain the status of Death Angel, each man was expected to kill either nine white men, five white women or four white children. After attaining this goal, a pair of black wings would be attached to his photograph and pinned up in an upstairs room of the self-help building. Although killing was their main goal, death angel candidates would often use machetes to torture victims over long periods, and some women were also the victims of rape.

On October 19, 1973 a couple, Richard and Quita Hague, were kidnapped by a group of men and forced into a white van as they took an after-dinner stroll near their home in Telegraph Hill. Quita was fondled by two men and then nearly decapitated by a third, a machete-wielding killer. One of the men who had fondled Quita then similarly hacked Richard and left him for dead, but miraculously, Richard survived.

Ten days later, on October 29, Frances Rose was repeatedly shot by a man who blocked her car's path and demanded a ride, as she was driving up to the entrance gate of the University of California Extension.

On November 9, a PG&E clerk, Robert Stoeckmann, was assaulted by another man but luckily, was able to take the gun away and fire back. The man, Leroy Doctor, was later arrested and convicted of assault with a deadly weapon.

Another victim, a Jordanian Arab Muslim, Saleem "Sammy" Erekat, was not so lucky. On November 25, a tall man pulled out a gun, and took Erekat to the back of his grocery store, bound him, and shot him execution-style, behind the right ear, killing him instantly.

On December 11, Paul Dancik, a 26-year old artist and drug addict, was shot three times in the chest by a man while he was making a call at a pay phone.

Then two days later, on the evening of December 13, future San Francisco mayor Art Agnos, then a member of the California Commission on Aging, was attending a meeting in Potrero Hill. Agnos was in the largely black neighborhood to discuss building a government-funded health clinic in the area. After the meeting ended, Agnos was talking to two women when a man shot him twice in the back. He barely survived the attack.

During the same evening, Marietta DiGirolamo was walking along Divisadero when she was shoved into a doorway by a man and shot twice in the chest, and when the shots spun her around, once in the back.

On December 20, "Angela Roselli" (not her real name; Howard, 140), a 20-year old college student, was shot three times — one bullet hit her spine — near her apartment by one of two men. She survived.

An 81-year-old janitor, Ilario Bertuccio, was shot that same evening on his way home from work in the Bay View district. He died almost instantly after four shots to the shoulder and chest.

On December 22, two more victims died within six minutes of each other. Neal Moynihan was killed while walking near the Civic Center after doing his Christmas shopping. A man walked in front of him and shot him in the face, neck, and heart. The killer (or perhaps a different NOI killer; Cohen and Sanders) then chased down Mildred Hosler as she was heading to her bus stop, and shot her four times.

The killings stopped for five weeks, then resumed with a vengeance on January 28, 1974 with five more shootings: Tana Smith, Vincent Wollin, John Bambic, Jane Holly and Roxanne McMillian. Wollin had celebrated his 69th birthday that day. Only one of the victims, Roxanne McMillian, survived, although she would be confined to a wheelchair for the rest of her life. (A sixth victim that night whom Cohen and Sanders tie to the NOI killers, Thomas Bates, a hitchhiker who survived being shot three times near Emeryville, had earlier been mentioned by Howard, but not counted by him in that night's totals.)

On April 1, 1974, two Salvation Army cadets were walking toward Mayfair market just two blocks away from the Salvation Army School for Officers' Training Center when a black man who was following them overtook them, wheeled around, fired four shots at them, and fled. Cadet Thomas Rainwater died; Cadet Linda Story survived. Two policemen arrived at the scene within 15 seconds, and although a manhunt was initiated in an effort to find the killer, it proved to be futile. They suspected that the Zebra killers had struck again, because of the 32-caliber shell casings found on the sidewalk.

Easter Sunday, two other people, Ward Anderson and Terry White, were wounded while waiting for a bus.

April 16, 23-year old Nelson T. Shields IV, heir to a wealthy Du Pont executive, accompanied a friend who lived in the Ingleside district to buy a rug. They went back to the friend's house on Vernon St., and while Shields was working at the back of the station wagon they had borrowed to transport the rug, he was shot repeatedly. A witness later testified that she saw a black man rushing up Vernon St. at the time of the shooting. The police again suspected that it was a Zebra murder because of the .32-caliber shell casings found at the scene.

Zebra task force suspected that up to 71 murders in California could have been the work of various Death Angels squads. Since many victims were drawn from the ranks of the homeless or hitchhikers, there is no certainty about the actual numbers. Today the murders have been largely forgotten — even within San Francisco — despite the enormity of the crimes when they happened and the great effect they had on the city.

In the end, it was concluded, that religion was a major motivation, and that colour was secondary.

Posted by: Lady | 2007-07-04 9:54:59 PM


The common thread is Islam again.

Posted by: canadian freedoms fan | 2007-07-05 8:40:34 AM


cff - you got it, but PM Brown has given instructions that no one is to use the word Muslim or Islam when referring the the most recent terrorist attacks.

Posted by: Alain | 2007-07-06 4:11:07 PM


The new P.M. has allowed the Union Jack to fly at 10 Downing Street every day instead of on special occasions alone.

WOW! How brave of him! It was thought that theflag might offend Muslims, so Blair banished it from being hoisted daily. Rue, Brittania!

Posted by: obc | 2007-07-06 4:23:56 PM


... and here's the link to my post above:

http://www.theherald.co.uk/politics/news/display.var.1527898.0.0.php

Posted by: obc | 2007-07-06 4:39:38 PM


More like hue Brittania.

"In this country in fifteen or twenty years' time the black man will have the whip hand over the white man.”
[...]
What he is saying, thousands and hundreds of thousands are saying and thinking—not throughout Great Britain, perhaps, but in the areas that are already undergoing the total transformation to which there is no parallel in a thousand years of English history.
[...]
But while to the immigrant entry to this country was admission to privileges and opportunities eagerly sought, the impact upon the existing population was very different. For reasons which they could not comprehend, and in pursuance of a decision by default, on which they were never consulted, they found themselves made strangers in their own country. They found their wives unable to obtain hospital beds in childbirth, their children unable to obtain school places, their homes and neighbourhoods changed beyond recognition, their plans and prospects for the future defeated; at work they found that employers hesitated to apply to the immigrant worker the standards of discipline and competence required of the native-born worker; they began to hear, as time went by, more and more voices which told them that they were now the unwanted."

Enoch Powell, 1968

Posted by: DJ | 2007-07-06 4:45:06 PM


DJ,

You know what a Nakki is?

Posted by: Lady | 2007-07-06 5:11:00 PM


WOW! How brave of him! It was thought that theflag might offend Muslims, so Blair banished it from being hoisted daily. Rue, Brittania!

Flag days have been around for decades, though a cretin like you would hardly appreciate the historic context.

Posted by: St Albion Parish News | 2007-07-06 5:21:13 PM


Proof positive--appeasing terrorists fails each and every single time it is practiced.

Posted by: Lady | 2007-07-06 5:29:20 PM


Lady,

Should I care?

Posted by: DJ | 2007-07-06 5:32:13 PM


Gentlemen are supposed to be nice to ladies. What does that say about you, DJ?

Posted by: obc | 2007-07-06 5:35:04 PM


john smeaton once tried to kill himself but his defences were so good that he had to give up

Posted by: davros | 2007-07-06 5:54:04 PM


john smeaton will set about ye

Posted by: davros | 2007-07-06 6:20:03 PM



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